Friday 24th June
Friday afternoon was clouding over as I walked to the guest house I was staying at. There was a certain subtle aroma in the air that can only be found in agricultural areas like this one in Somerset. Eventually arrived at the guest house I was staying at. Wow, where do I start. Great looking 200 year old Georgian building with a big garden and hens roaming in the yard. So far so good. Then the fun started. I used the door knocker before looking left and on the door support I then saw a bell with a message “please use the bell”, so I did. A nice guy answered and he was a very decent vintage indeed. Judging on later conversations he would definitely be at least in his mid seventies. Not what you expect to see. I then started signing in and then the lady of the house materialized. No hello or anything, the opening line was “why did you use the door knocker when the sign says ring the bell?” to which I replied because I didn't see the sign until after I used the knocker”. I was then handed the menu for breakfast the next day.
Her – “What do you want, start from the top”
Me – “orange juice” (It was on the line at the top of the menu after all)
Her – “don’t worry about that we can fix that in the morning as I don’t need to prepare that, next?”
Me – “ok, cornflakes”
Her – “Can’t you be more adventurous than that ? Everyone has cornflakes and they are boring and I’m sick of people who have cornflakes, you can have them at the chain hotel you are staying at next time if you really want them.”
Me – “ok, what do you recommend?
Her – “the porridge, I make it myself and it’s absolutely lovely, I’m well known for my porridge”
Me – “ok, I’ll have the porridge ”
We eventually struggled our way to the end of the interrogation. The final question was a beauty.
Her “I want a direct answer to my next question, do not answer my question with another question, a one word answer would be perfect …… “what time do you want breakfast?”
Me – “Eight O’clock”
I have to admit she nearly cracked it for a quarter smile. By that time her husband took pity on me and came back to subtly hint that I should be shown my room. I think his court martial for insolence and allowing a prisoner to escape before she was finished with him is due sometime later today The instructions didn’t stop there. On the way up the stairs I got “DO NOT touch the left stair rail, the house is over 200 years old and so is the stair rail and we are trying to look after it”.
While I was checking in another guy also arrived and was being checked in. He was staying three nights and she said “oh good, I do so hate one nighters, they aren’t worth the bother” while I was stood five feet away. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that their website says “all welcome” on it. I just smiled and tried not to laugh and the new arrival and myself exchanged raised eyebrows when she wasn’t looking. The new arrival was probably thinking he had got off lightly but I sense she has three days to impart slow torture on him and that mine was a rush job. She was gorgeous in a bossy kind of way. She was very much like a female Basil Fawlty. Breakfast went a lot better because I was prepared for what was coming and tried to steer around all the potential problem areas by not talking. I will certainly remember West Huntspil in Somerset in a big way.
Anyway the rest of the day went something like
1 Looked out the window, grey sky on the horizon
2. Started walking to the stadium anyway
3. Orchard Hotel – hmmm. Plenty of time to kill why not.
4. Two pints of Doombar ale while watching two 14 – 15 year old kids play pool and darts. Great system they had, have two games going at once, while one is potting balls the other is throwing darts, then they swap. Smart kids.
5. Sky looked worse so started walking
6. Coopers Arms hotel …hmmm, its still so early, can’t say no can I ?
7. Quick pint of a local drop called something like batcarp
8. One of the local young lads was off his face and was trying to kiss everyone and he was heading in my direction. Rapidly drank beer and headed out the door.
9. Sky looking very grey now
10. Bristol Bridge Inn .. hmmm, that last one didn’t go well, it’s like falling off a horse, you have to get straight back on again. Went inside.
11. Unimaginitive selection to choose from. Had a Worthingtons.
12. Started walking. Looked up and realized there was an outside chance of rain.
13. Arrived at track.`
Super looking track in what looks like the middle of a field. Only a new’ish track so the bar / club rooms were great. Found Brian and wife from Kings Lynn and then bumped into my travelling companion from Darwin. Gave Dave his “Grumpy Old Man” team T shirt we everyone else seemed to think was funny except Dave. Dave introduced me to Paul from Glasgow, what a super bloke he turned out to be. In some ways a bit like a Glasgow version of Dave Rowlands but in other ways not because Paul is easy to understand. Also met Lee Morris and Gavin Elmes from Queensland. Anyway, on to the racing.
The track in the first few heats was really dusty. Being short and not in a good viewing position low down on the grassy mound I found it hard to see much other than the top half of all the riders. At about heat 4 it started to rain (did I mention it had looked like rain). Light drizzle at first but it kept on coming and wouldn’t stop. Absolutely no cover at the track other than the clubroom and surrounds so it was going to be testing our patience. Programs were getting soggy, umbrellas going up and trying to look through drops of water on my glasses meant it was getting all a bit too burdensome to watch so even though I am ashamed to say it I stopped watching. The company was good though. Glasgow ran out winners and a well done to them. Gavin Elmes gave me a lift back to where I was staying and I fell into bed wondering what my host had in store for me in the morning.
Friday afternoon was clouding over as I walked to the guest house I was staying at. There was a certain subtle aroma in the air that can only be found in agricultural areas like this one in Somerset. Eventually arrived at the guest house I was staying at. Wow, where do I start. Great looking 200 year old Georgian building with a big garden and hens roaming in the yard. So far so good. Then the fun started. I used the door knocker before looking left and on the door support I then saw a bell with a message “please use the bell”, so I did. A nice guy answered and he was a very decent vintage indeed. Judging on later conversations he would definitely be at least in his mid seventies. Not what you expect to see. I then started signing in and then the lady of the house materialized. No hello or anything, the opening line was “why did you use the door knocker when the sign says ring the bell?” to which I replied because I didn't see the sign until after I used the knocker”. I was then handed the menu for breakfast the next day.
Her – “What do you want, start from the top”
Me – “orange juice” (It was on the line at the top of the menu after all)
Her – “don’t worry about that we can fix that in the morning as I don’t need to prepare that, next?”
Me – “ok, cornflakes”
Her – “Can’t you be more adventurous than that ? Everyone has cornflakes and they are boring and I’m sick of people who have cornflakes, you can have them at the chain hotel you are staying at next time if you really want them.”
Me – “ok, what do you recommend?
Her – “the porridge, I make it myself and it’s absolutely lovely, I’m well known for my porridge”
Me – “ok, I’ll have the porridge ”
We eventually struggled our way to the end of the interrogation. The final question was a beauty.
Her “I want a direct answer to my next question, do not answer my question with another question, a one word answer would be perfect …… “what time do you want breakfast?”
Me – “Eight O’clock”
I have to admit she nearly cracked it for a quarter smile. By that time her husband took pity on me and came back to subtly hint that I should be shown my room. I think his court martial for insolence and allowing a prisoner to escape before she was finished with him is due sometime later today The instructions didn’t stop there. On the way up the stairs I got “DO NOT touch the left stair rail, the house is over 200 years old and so is the stair rail and we are trying to look after it”.
While I was checking in another guy also arrived and was being checked in. He was staying three nights and she said “oh good, I do so hate one nighters, they aren’t worth the bother” while I was stood five feet away. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that their website says “all welcome” on it. I just smiled and tried not to laugh and the new arrival and myself exchanged raised eyebrows when she wasn’t looking. The new arrival was probably thinking he had got off lightly but I sense she has three days to impart slow torture on him and that mine was a rush job. She was gorgeous in a bossy kind of way. She was very much like a female Basil Fawlty. Breakfast went a lot better because I was prepared for what was coming and tried to steer around all the potential problem areas by not talking. I will certainly remember West Huntspil in Somerset in a big way.
Anyway the rest of the day went something like
1 Looked out the window, grey sky on the horizon
2. Started walking to the stadium anyway
3. Orchard Hotel – hmmm. Plenty of time to kill why not.
4. Two pints of Doombar ale while watching two 14 – 15 year old kids play pool and darts. Great system they had, have two games going at once, while one is potting balls the other is throwing darts, then they swap. Smart kids.
5. Sky looked worse so started walking
6. Coopers Arms hotel …hmmm, its still so early, can’t say no can I ?
7. Quick pint of a local drop called something like batcarp
8. One of the local young lads was off his face and was trying to kiss everyone and he was heading in my direction. Rapidly drank beer and headed out the door.
9. Sky looking very grey now
10. Bristol Bridge Inn .. hmmm, that last one didn’t go well, it’s like falling off a horse, you have to get straight back on again. Went inside.
11. Unimaginitive selection to choose from. Had a Worthingtons.
12. Started walking. Looked up and realized there was an outside chance of rain.
13. Arrived at track.`
Super looking track in what looks like the middle of a field. Only a new’ish track so the bar / club rooms were great. Found Brian and wife from Kings Lynn and then bumped into my travelling companion from Darwin. Gave Dave his “Grumpy Old Man” team T shirt we everyone else seemed to think was funny except Dave. Dave introduced me to Paul from Glasgow, what a super bloke he turned out to be. In some ways a bit like a Glasgow version of Dave Rowlands but in other ways not because Paul is easy to understand. Also met Lee Morris and Gavin Elmes from Queensland. Anyway, on to the racing.
The track in the first few heats was really dusty. Being short and not in a good viewing position low down on the grassy mound I found it hard to see much other than the top half of all the riders. At about heat 4 it started to rain (did I mention it had looked like rain). Light drizzle at first but it kept on coming and wouldn’t stop. Absolutely no cover at the track other than the clubroom and surrounds so it was going to be testing our patience. Programs were getting soggy, umbrellas going up and trying to look through drops of water on my glasses meant it was getting all a bit too burdensome to watch so even though I am ashamed to say it I stopped watching. The company was good though. Glasgow ran out winners and a well done to them. Gavin Elmes gave me a lift back to where I was staying and I fell into bed wondering what my host had in store for me in the morning.
1 comment:
Good going Howard!
Thought it rained often enough in Melbourne for you to be used to it!
When you reach Leicester, pay respects to Alderman Newton (one of the effigies on the clock tower there) He was the founder of my old school. None of yer Aussie g'days! ... a real old world greeting perlease, appropriate to his era.
Love to see you curtsey!
Mike
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